How having a boyfriend makes you better than everyone else
I was thinking the other day how having SoftTouches in my life has made me smarter.
Let me explain.
Before, when I was "Single Claire" I used to dress really innapropriately for the wether. In the summer I'd wear big wool sweaters and mittens, in the winter I'd wear flip-flops and tank tops. I was so dumb! It wasn't until SoftTouches came into my life that I realized it was the other way around. he's taught me that being cold in the inter is not a good thing. He remonds me to wear my biggest, heaviest sweaters and thermal undies (hee! mine have pictures of balloons on them) while I go outside and shovel his car out of the snow. See? If I didn't have a boyfriend I'd never know that thermal underwears keeps you warm in cold weather!
When I go to parties and see all those dumb skanky girls in their tight, expensive halter tops that accentuate their perfect breasts and those hip hugger jeans that flatter their cute butts and wearing $500 Manolo Blahnik shoes I just shake my head. They're so silly! They must be freezing cold inside those chic bars surrounded by all those guys. I'm so much better than them because I have a boyfriend. See, I don't have to wear clothes to show off my body because I already have a boyfriend who totally, totally loves me. Even SoftTouches says those girls look bad. The other night I saw him staring at one girl in her BeBe sparkly top and pin stripe tight pants. He was looking her up and down and licking his lips. When I asked him what he was looking at he said "Nothing." See! He said she was "nothing."
I efel bad for all those girls who feel like they have to dress up to attract a man. I really do. They're just such dumb bitches. They think they're so much better than everyone else because they have the money to buy that stuff. I'll take my cute Daffy's t-shirts and Old Navy dockers any day! Besides, I'm saving my money. Whoops...I mean "we" are saving "our" money. SoftTouches and I are planning for our future. That's the new stage we're in.
Stage one was during our first two weeks of dating. In just 14 days we told each other we loved each toher, moved in together and he met my parents. That's when we started preparing to open ourselves up to each other.
Stage two was the third week when he gave me the key to his apartment. I gave him my key, too, but he never comes to Jersey to see me ;( cuz he's always so busy working in the city. That's when we started creating a home together and preparing for our future.
Stage three was the fifth week where we declared outr love to our friends and family. SoftTouches was performing in a cabaret (my god...he's so talented!). I sat in the front row and watched him sing his little heart out. Next to me was another girl who must totally want a boyfriend becasue she kept staring at SoftTouches and smiling and winking. So then I started winking and waving. SoftTouches kept his eyes on me the whole time, except for once or twice when he looked at the girl next to me. But he was totally just being polite 'cause she must be a fan. I think he got kinda bothered by her cuz I think he stuck his tongue out at her and flicked it back and forth really quick!. But he made the peace sign and put it in front of his mouth first just so she knew he wasn't being mean. I think that was him trying to tell her he had a girlfriend. Hee...even when he's on stage he's thinking of me!
Stage four was combining our finances. See, where building a future together and that takes money! SoftTouches is trying to help me earn enough cash from my "Learn to Strip for Profit" classes. He even said that I could be a stripper (he loves when I shake my booty for him! LOL!) and that I could make a ton of money and then we could afford to move into a one bedroom apartment. He's working so hard at the bar and playing his harmoniguitar thing outside of Grand Central. Because I love him and want to support his dream, I've paid his rent for the last three months. That's what couples do, righyt? They help each other! He'll pay me back I know he will.
It's only been three months, my peeps, but I know he's The One. I just know it!